Why I think I should work for Mindy Kaling

I sat down to write this week’s blog and this is what came out. #priorities

  • We both look equally cute in glasses. Proof: ImageImage
  • I can add to any cultural experience by yelling “Hajima!” (stop that) at any Korean fans, or the more frightening, “Juculay?!” (do you want to die?!)
    • I have yelled the latter more often than I would care to admit at the gremlins I teach.
  • I will definitely be taller than her, thereby allowing her to be the tiny and cuter friend. 
  • I’m really good at sticking to my guns when a coffee shop makes an error on my coffee–and by that, I mean my mom’s usual Venti no-foam 2% latte. Mistakes are not tolerated and will be dealt with under the tree next Christmas. 
  • I will laugh at all her jokes. But not the donkey braying laugh of some over-exuberant women or the bad guy “hiss hiss hiss” laugh, but rather the occasional not-so-ladylike snort or a deep guffaw (despite my lack of beard, I CAN pull this off).
  • I promise to overlook my vow to marry Anderson Cooper and allow her to have a go.
  • I will be the one to order pizza and make eye contact, alone, in a gray hoodie to my knees and black leggings, with the delivery guy, despite what I know he thinks.
  • I will use my debit card to pay for things under $3 so she doesn’t have to. 
  • When (not if) we watch romcoms, I will bring the tissues. Or chocolate. Or nail polish. Or Anderson Cooper.
  • I will rock my inner Burt Macklin and guard her room trying on clothes in one of those boho boutiques where they have cloth as a door. To boho boutiques: no one is fooled. We’re all looking to see who’s bra is cuter.
  • I can get places on tiiiiime. I’ll be like a terrible, on-time personal trainer for on-time things.
  • After this year in Korea, I’m really, really going to wear skirts, heels and dresses like a model. A limping, wincing, smiling-through-the-pain model, but still.
  • I always carry gum, making sure she’s making a great first impression or prepping for a kissing scene. 
    • Also, floss. Because ain’t no one got time for that.
  • I can type like 124 words per minute on my iPhone. And thanks to iCloud, I’ll keep an eye on her schedule on all the devices!
  • Due to my past in sports, I’m able to use my butt to block out any unnecessary paparazzi, old boyfriends, or the occasional Tobey.
  • My super strong calves and butt will carry all of her stuff: phone, tablet, laptop, makeup, extra shoes, Lisa Frank journal, plethora of pencils and milky pens, 2 pairs of sunglasses, socks, nail polish, 27 hair ties, roughly a legion of bobby pins, sharpie for signing people’s napkins and shirts, tampons, fingernail clippers for the inevitable hangnail and of course, a spare Diet Coke or two. 

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Survival of the Fitter.

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Not too much to report from this week, it was pretty quiet and I like it like that (now you know how I feeeeeel. Can you handle my love? Are you for reeeeal?) However, this next week is going to be by far my toughest yet.

Monday: Teach all day.

Tuesday: Teach ADULTS all day.

Wednesday: rinse & repeat Tuesday

Thursday: same, but add a Night Activity 6:15-7:40.

Friday: teach a 1-day middle school field trip–usually we only teach 3 periods on Fridays, and end with lunch and a quick “wave tunnel” as students leave by 1:30. INSTEAD a few of us “lucky” ones get to teach a 4, 5 and 6th period and then a wave tunnel. So I get to work until 4 on Friday.

Friday, part 2

: move to new dorms, hopefully (if furniture has showed). So, I’ll work Thursday and Thursnight, Friday, and have to be done moving all of the things by Friday night. Not that I have a ton, but it doesn’t feel like much time to pack or move things across campus and up a hill.

Saturday: OH JOY, I DONE SIGNED UP FOR OVERTIME. Seriously, this paycheck better be a fatty. So I’ll teach 5 periods today as well.

Saturday at 5pm: pass out on new floor and sleep 24 hours. Pray that wifi is set up there.

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So that’s the word on the street. I’m currently working on a “these things are SUPER DIFFERENT, Y’ALL, post which will explore showering and movie theater etiquette.

PS: Beard, you know the Spice Girls reference was just for you.

PPS: I have ONE Diet Coke left. And I think we all know that I’m drinking it this week.

PPPS: I ran 3k yesterday! Without stopping or slowing down! Fitness, you are getting owned. And then I weighed in for the first time since last Sunday and gained a pound. Dang it.

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Self Improving.

I still haven’t decided what this year is, or what it isn’t. Is it a breather from all the influences and people and “shouting” of who/what/when/where I should be? Is it a year to save money and travel? Is it the year to get my life together?

Yeah. All of the above. It’s nice to have time to think. A regular schedule, lots of down time, gym a 5 minute walk away. Fast (usually) internet and lots of books to read. Good people that are ok with coffee hangouts, downtown adventures or just plain need-to-be-alone time. 

I’m surprised how much I enjoy being alone. Watching a movie, sitting on my balcony, reading a book, catching up on everyone’s lives, Skype sessions with people, starting Yoga (I KNOW!), meditating on this year. Maybe I have a few years to decompress from, which surprises me. I always said I thrive on people–and I probably still do–but its being intentional about getting alone time that is making me happiest. I feel rested and my mind is clearer. 

Today I re-took the Meyers-Briggs Indicator Test and guess what: still an ESFJ. I thought with all my “alone time,” I might be switching teams to Introvert. Apparently not; Extroverts need to recharge too.

This year feels like my baseline. I’ve worked some amazing, amazing jobs, met some life-changing friends, and made memories that keep me laughing late at night. But now, I want to figure me out. What are my passions–not someone else’s that I like or ones that I think I should have–what do I love to do? What makes me happiest? What drives me? 

And it’s not just a mental reset, I really want to get my body in line as well. Its going to take a ridiculous amount of discipline, and I don’t know if I can do it. It scares me, it really does. I’m doing yoga, drinking so. much. water, running 2k without stopping and pushing myself with Nike Training Camp’s app for iPhone. I’m looking into P90x–has anyone done this?–and wanting to wear that awesome bikini that none of you have seen!

So, there’s a bunch of my heart, there. Not a lot about ESL teaching, Korea life, or fun fun fun things, but you guys know me. Heart on my (blog) sleeve. Thanks for listening.

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In Which Forever 21 Declares War On My Butt: A First-Time Trip to Seoul

As promised, the saga of Seoul in all of it’s glory! Roy-Gene and I hopped in a cab at DGEV with a dream and a cardigan around 6:15 with our coworker Casey. We went first to Waegwan, where we caught a quick 15-minute train to Dongdaegu, the big train hub for Daegu. There we boarded the KTX, the super duper fast train to Seoul–it takes just shy of 2 hours and you get in at Seoul station, the heart of the city. Image

We got in around 10, and then began to wander and wander and wander as we looked for the way to Hongik University, our stop for the hostel we were staying at. I had downloaded an awesome subway app, but my smaller-town brain and the pretty much million subway colors and lines of Seoul weren’t working late at night. We began to ask Koreans to direct us the right direction, and they were amazing. Actually, all weekend Seoulites were the most gracious people ever, going above and beyond time after time. They made me love Seoul.

ANYWAYS, we made it to the hostel–at every turn I didn’t know what we would do, but it just. kept. working out! Pencil Hostel/Guesthouse in Hongdae is seriously great. We walked in to bedding, towels, shampoo, soap, A/C, TV and a refrigerator and slept like the dead until morning.

Friday morning dawned fair and bright and we headed out in search of breakfast: Image

Now that we were experienced in all things subway, we went to Myeongdong on the reference of a co-worker to check out H&M, Forever 21, and a host of Western brands. We met a lovely older Korean man, who helped me as I struggled with how to use my subway card in the reader. He then asked if he could help us find anything and recommended a breakfast place to us. We then explored H&M and I felt super thrifty as I picked up a $70 (aka 70,000 KRW) navy blazer for only $30, and a purse $13 instead of $35.

Then came Forever 21. It had FOUR FLOORS. It was magical. Escalators everywhere, men, women, kids, accessories, and I found two cute shirts and some leggings that I figured I should try on. I got to the dressing room and the girl took my items, turned to me and said, “these 2 ok, this (points to leggings) not ok, you will stretch out the shape,” and walks me to a dressing room. I try on the shirts, trying to shake it off. Having worked in retail, I cannot come up with a good reason for what she did. I tried all the “be flexible, this is a different culture” ideas I could think of. And even though I liked one of the shirts I tried on, I left, handing her the items without a word.

I mean…they were leggings. $16 leggings. Was it really vital to not let me try them on? Obviously your brand is doing well for itself; do you really want to…I mean, c’mon. I realize I have a butt. It’s big. It’s out there. It’s also pretty strong. It’s taken a lot of stairs and lunges and hours on a stone floor of an Apple Store. Lately it’s also worn a lot of heels. And you know, as much as I’m trying to eat well and work out and drop some weight, the butt is still gonna be there. It doesn’t need your $16 leggings to feel good about itself. So you, Forever 21, can shove them up your ass.

Meanwhile, back in happy-about-my-life world… ImageRoy-Gene and I continued exploring with a trip up to the US Embassy, where this exchange occurred:

Me: I can’t wait to go in and be all ‘AMURICA!’

RG: You know it’s like the heaviest fortified embassy ever…you can’t just walk in.

Me: Don’t you just run up to the front gate and scream “I’m an American!” and they have to, like, contractually let you in under asylum?

RG: (jaw drops, shakes head)

So, I didn’t. We ended up walking by, and visited a former palace instead. We then rested up a bit before retrieving the David Brown from the KTX. We traversed back to the hostel to make David think we were pros, and went to sleep to prep for Saturday. Well, tried to sleep. DB got the giggles so bad, I’m not sure he ever slept.

We woke up and headed out around 9, and went to Itaewon, the foreigner district, to find David some clothes, and me some Diet Coke, Roy-Gene some proper coffee, and breakfast for all of us. On Leslie’s (another coworker) recommendation, we went to the Flying Pan-Blue, which was expensive, but good. ImageAfter that, DB and I trundled around, searching for clothes. I found an appropriately touristy t-shirt that said “I ❤ Korea!” and some leggings at a store for Big and Tall women, where I got to meet 2 South Africans and an Italian expat, all of whom teach English for EPIK, the government program for teaching. We all commiserated about the Forever 21 experience, which is apparently common for those of us lucky enough to be voluptuous in Korea. Dave found the button ups that he was looking for, and I found what made my trip worthwhile: Image

After that, we went back to our hostel to pick up our bags (and for me to repack to accomodate the plethora of Diet Coke), and headed home on the KTX. All in all, a great trip, and we got to rest and recharge today to prepare for the week.

It was interesting how the vibe and feel of Seoul was very different to Daegu. Everyone was gracious and kind and intentional about helping us. We had people carry bags, ask questions, and race up an escalator to make sure they gave us the right directions. We met expats from all over the world and shopped at a foreign market. I think I understand the feeling people get about New York–it’s huge, it’s overwhelming, it’s fun, but when it boils down to it, it’s about people. I loved every minute.

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Proof!

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This post is mostly for Adam Herbert, who thinks I just take pictures instead of teach. I hope Millie bites you.

Supahstah.

Today, I was scheduled on-call for the afternoon. Two callouts later, I had my first (mostly) full day of teaching. And it was pretty great. After Thursday, where due to nerves, being observed by a trainer, and a bunch of wild Korean kids, I felt like I wasn’t going to be able to stick this out for a year–leaps and bounds better. The kids listened, I got to teach a class on ZOMBIES (!!!), and most of all, I ended the day feeling good.

Before:

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After:

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New Kids On The Block

You know the first days at a new job? Where you’re terrified and excited and you know where nothing is? Add not understanding half the language and 16-hour jet lag to overcome to the mix and you’ll understand about where I’m at.

We (Steven from Chicago and I) met up in the Seoul-Incheon Airport for our domestic flight to Daegu. After our long flights, immigration, baggage, customs, re-check-in and security again, we were pretty wiped. The taxi ride was a dark blur; I remember seeing cutesy animals on skyscrapers and a 555-1268 number, which made me laugh because here that’s a real prefix!

I arrived at DGEV about 9pm on Sunday night, and was immediately greeted by David and Roy-Gene, as well as Gail. Friendly faces and people to carry my bags was the best thing in my life at that moment. I got to my room and there was a welcome bag with the DGEV white tiger (see photo!), and included snacks, tissues, baby wipes and guides to seeing Daegu. I pulled some things out of my carry on and promptly fell asleep around 9:45.

I woke up around 2:30 and said “I’m not doing this,” so I slept 2 more hours and got up at 4:30, unpacking most of my suitcases. Roy-Gene made me coffee around 6, and I got ready for my first day by showering (I will make a post about showering here, trust) and trying on about 3 different outfits. David and I went to breakfast and from there, a teacher meeting, which they do on Monday mornings.

Here’s Colleen and I at said meeting:

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PS it’s muggy, y’all. I didn’t save more time to fight with the borrowed straightener I used:) I rocked heels all day, which I was a little worried I couldn’t do. My feet hurt but weren’t murderous by the end of the day. It’s just like getting used to the stone floor of the Apple store all over again.

We went to opening ceremonies: aka a waving tunnel to greet the kids on Monday and observed about 4 classes, including Orientation, Self-Intro, Pet Shop and Constellations. I got some free hangers from the freebie table, and a laundry hamper! Then, dinner and hanging out with people, hanging up said clothes and finally feeling like the room was my corner of the world. Then, 💤.

Today, beat the jet lag a little more by waking up at 5:45 and coffee-ing with Roy Gene again. I didn’t want to fight with the weather nor the flat iron, so I threw some gel in my hair and called it a curly day. Navy TOMS, jersey pencil skirt and gray shirt made it a wrap.

I’m about to go have my immigration physical in about 10 minutes–not sure why everyone groans…

Can’t beat waking up to this.

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And here. we. go.

Made it past the I-5 bridge collapse. Survived family goodbye, but only by pretending to be Spock and have no emotions. Snuck both suitcases under weight. Made it through security despite the pat-down and laptop search. Leaned right on the train to international “S” gates. Found a bathroom. Now a Smart Water. And finally, the blog! The infamous blog! It LIVES!

Welcome to http://www.baileysaywhat.com!

I’ll try and post often (but not, like, too often, where you feel the need to hide my updates on Facebook or pretend you have “plans” so you don’t have to see me kind of often). If you want to, I think there’s a submission or “ask” box where you can ask questions or say hi–and of course, there is always a comment box at the bottom of each article. Feel free to follow me on Twitter (@alyssa_bailey, or just click the link on the right side of the blog) as well for smaller, quippier anecdotes. 

Without further ado, 

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The Night Before Christmas…

2 Suitcases, filled to oh-so-close-but-still-under 50lbs

1 Carryon, filled with various “stuff,” plus a northface and wool coat

1 Personal item, holding laptop, iPad, (now SIM unlocked) iPhone, wallet, visa, passport, itinerary, glasses and gum

1 very nervous woman, trying to remember everything

Korea: it’s time.

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