Fade in from black, desk at an office, roughly 7:23pm, Thursday 10/2/14.
BAILEY, a late 20-something woman in workout clothes, is about to go play volleyball with fellow teachers in 30 minutes. She sits at her desk reading about the various antics of her guilty pleasure, K-Pop’s BigBang.
YOUNG MALE KOREAN CO-WORKER (YMKCW) enters, spots BAILEY and proceeds to her desk.
YMKCW: Do you want to go sogating (blind date) with my friend? He’s from Seoul.
BAILEY: What? Are you serious?
YMKCW: Yeah, he’s coming down tomorrow night to visit me and wants a date.
BAILEY: Whoa, um, this is so sudden.
YMKCW: He’s really tall. Like 180cm. He looks like T.O.P from BigBang.
BAILEY: Hahahaha what did you tell him about me?
YMKCW: Nothing. Here, talk to him.
BAILEY: He’s on the phone?! HE’S ON THE PHONE RIGHT NOW?! HE’S BEEN LISTENING TO EVERYTHING WE ARE SAYING?!
BAILEY: (whispers) hang up! HANG UP RIGHT NOW. (hits YMKCW multiple times on arms, body, one swift kick to shin)
YMKCW: Why?! He doesn’t care!
BAILEY: I CARE YOU IDIOT OH MY GOD (mouths) GET OFF THE PHONE HANG UP
YMKCW: (drops phone in BAILEY’s lap)
BAILEY: (whispers) I don’t even know his name!
BAILEY: (clears throat), Uh, yeboseyo [hello]?
XX: yeboseyo? Hello?
BAILEY: Hi. [in Korean] I’m Bailey
XX: oh, your Korean is so good! I’m XX.
BAILEY: I know. I mean, bangawoyo [nice to meet you] (makes faces at YMCKW, who is just sitting and grinning like an idiot) How do you know YMKCW?
XX: We went to school together in Australia.
BAILEY: Ah. Your English is awesome.
XX: So you work with YMKCW? Do you call him Mr. X?
BAILEY: (laughs for 23 solid seconds) DO I CALL HIM MR. X?! No, usually I just say “hey idiot” or YMKCW-oppa.
XX: Oh no. No. You can’t call him YMKCW-oppa.
BAILEY: Uh…why? He’s older than me. He’s a friend, who is a guy, and I am a girl and he is older than me…by Korean standards…shouldn’t I say oppa?
XX: Yeeeesss…but you shouldn’t call him that. It makes him too confident.
BAILEY: OK, I’ll stick with “idiot” instead. So I’ll see you tomorrow?
XX: Yes, I think so.
BAILEY: OK…bye? (hands phone back to YMKCW, who then leaves the office on the phone, BAILEY runs over to twin teachers THING 1 and THING 2) OHMYGODYOUGUYSDIDYOUHEARTHAT?!
YMKCW re-enters. BAILEY, THING 1 and THING 2 attempt (in vain) to look casual and unaffected by the recent developement.
YMKCW: So, what do you think? (goes back over to BAILEY’s desk and sits down. BAILEY follows.)
BAILEY: Yeah, he sounds nice. So, tomorrow night?
YMKCW: Yeah. So, like, brings lots of other female teachers too.
BAILEY: (growing suspicious) Okay…well…I’m going out to dinner with a bunch of people tomorrow night. Should I just text you afterwards?
YMKCW: Yeah. Just…who else will be there?
BAILEY: (suspicion heightens) why are you looking for other people?
YMKCW: So my friend can have choice.
BAILEY: Wait. So…so he can choose?
YMKCW: (oblivious to any problem) yeah. So if you don’t like and he don’t like then he can have more choice. Is smart.
**This is NOT a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are neither the products of the author’s imagination nor used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is not coincidental. Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.**